Hormones

We all hear about pregnancy hormones and so far I have to admit I thought I had them in check. Well that was until last week....

I guess a lot can change in a week, well truthfully speaking a lot changes when you have a baby. So that is the story of my life. After lots of thought and discussion Chris and I decided to rent our condo and save a little extra money in hopes of buying a house before or after our baby girl arrives. Sounds and looks good on paper, right? We know a great couple that just sold their house and were looking for a place to rent so we figured that this was the perfect opportunity. That was until I realized I had to pack up an entire house while I am 5 months pregnant, not to mention I have lived here for 6 and half years. You see where I am going with this, let the packing begin.

Well let me just clarify something first, after we made this decision I think I cried for 3 days. I know I want a house and a yard for our daughter but moving right now, well I just couldn't get control of my emotions. It finally became clear to me that this was happening and packing was inevitable. As I sat on the floor in my bedroom packing up photo albums and going through my old personal items I realized that this condo was a lot more than just my first place. I bought this on my own and it was the biggest purchase of my life and it was where I met my husband and we started our life together. Walking away from all these memories stirred up a lot of emotion for me, not to mention that I am pregnant.

So yes, I have hit my hormonal high and I cry all the time. Some people go through nesting when they're pregnant well this feels like reverse nesting. As the pictures come off the walls and the dishes get packed up, I can't help but remembering when we came home as Mr. and Mrs. Ferraro. Or how about unpacking all the wedding presents and deciding where to hang the pictures. I know life changes and we're forever on a journey but I guess I never thought walking away from this would be so hard. Maybe if we had a house lined up or knew what to expect this would be easier. I know I just have to trust God and believe that all this is for the better of our new family!! Life does go on and as Chris said to me, "We're not walking away from this life we're beginning the next chapter of our life and  that involves the better for our daughter." Some day I hope she knows how much we loved her before we even met her, probably when she is doing the same for her family.

I guess I can truly admit to my emotions and say that my pregnancy hormones have gotten the best of me. So back to packing and on with the next chapter, one that is sure to be bigger and brighter.