Gestational Diabetes
(ok I finally said it)
(ok I finally said it)
That is right, the test results are back and I in fact have gestational diabetes. I was in denial when I took the first glucose test so I decided to take it again. And let me just tell you that the sugary drink doesn't taste any better the second time. In fact it was worse, this time they gave me the orange flavor and it wasn't even cold. I thought for sure that I would pass and even brought my walking shoes and made a few laps around the lab after I drank the drink. (this time they didn't tell me to stay put)
Yes, I know it probably sounds like I didn't follow the rules, but in my stubborn head I just figured I was doing what I always do. I was going for a walk after a big meal. After the one hour test I was feeling pretty confident and even took another little stroll before the two hour test. I left the lab feeling pretty good and thinking I had aced the test. But I must not have been too confident because I didn't want to know my results until after the weekend (didn't want to ruin another weekend).
So on Monday I emailed my doctors office and the results were in ....... I have Gestational Diabetes (GD). Actually I handled it a lot better the second time around and didn't freak out as much. I cried a little bit and had some of the same feelings as I did before. Feeling like I had done something wrong or like I was a failure. Questioning how this could have happened to me, I eat healthy and exercise all the time. Even as a Registered Nurse I know that GD doesn't have anything to do with your lifestyle, it has to do with how the hormones from the placenta cause an insulin resistance. As a result it makes it harder for my body to use insulin and the increased amount of insulin in my blood passes through the placenta. Which can harm the baby and cause other issues if not cared for properly.
It all finally clicked for me and I ended my pity party when I realized that if someone would have told me two years ago when we were trying to conceive that I would have GD, I would have said sign me up. It wouldn't have matter to me. I would have taken having morning sickness and vertigo or any other side effect of pregnancy just to have a baby. So now that I am pregnant why has it all the sudden changed? Did I expect a perfect pregnancy and one that would be glamorous without flaws? It was at that moment that I was reminded of all our struggles to conceive that I decided to read the very first baby blog. As I read tears began to run down my cheeks and all those feeling and emotions came rushing back to me. This baby is a gift from God and what an injustice I was trying to do just to beat the system (test). I needed this wake up call to help me remember that I would have done anything and will do anything for our daughter. And if that means I have to count my carbs for 10 weeks and stay away from Pastas, sweets and everything else yummy to keep our daughter healthy than I can do that. And maybe someday I will be able to look back at this experience and thank my daughter for helping me not gain unnecessary baby weight.
So for now I am laying off the pastas and desserts and remembering how much we wanted this baby. I can do anything for 10 weeks when it comes to our daughter.
Yes, I know it probably sounds like I didn't follow the rules, but in my stubborn head I just figured I was doing what I always do. I was going for a walk after a big meal. After the one hour test I was feeling pretty confident and even took another little stroll before the two hour test. I left the lab feeling pretty good and thinking I had aced the test. But I must not have been too confident because I didn't want to know my results until after the weekend (didn't want to ruin another weekend).
So on Monday I emailed my doctors office and the results were in ....... I have Gestational Diabetes (GD). Actually I handled it a lot better the second time around and didn't freak out as much. I cried a little bit and had some of the same feelings as I did before. Feeling like I had done something wrong or like I was a failure. Questioning how this could have happened to me, I eat healthy and exercise all the time. Even as a Registered Nurse I know that GD doesn't have anything to do with your lifestyle, it has to do with how the hormones from the placenta cause an insulin resistance. As a result it makes it harder for my body to use insulin and the increased amount of insulin in my blood passes through the placenta. Which can harm the baby and cause other issues if not cared for properly.
It all finally clicked for me and I ended my pity party when I realized that if someone would have told me two years ago when we were trying to conceive that I would have GD, I would have said sign me up. It wouldn't have matter to me. I would have taken having morning sickness and vertigo or any other side effect of pregnancy just to have a baby. So now that I am pregnant why has it all the sudden changed? Did I expect a perfect pregnancy and one that would be glamorous without flaws? It was at that moment that I was reminded of all our struggles to conceive that I decided to read the very first baby blog. As I read tears began to run down my cheeks and all those feeling and emotions came rushing back to me. This baby is a gift from God and what an injustice I was trying to do just to beat the system (test). I needed this wake up call to help me remember that I would have done anything and will do anything for our daughter. And if that means I have to count my carbs for 10 weeks and stay away from Pastas, sweets and everything else yummy to keep our daughter healthy than I can do that. And maybe someday I will be able to look back at this experience and thank my daughter for helping me not gain unnecessary baby weight.
So for now I am laying off the pastas and desserts and remembering how much we wanted this baby. I can do anything for 10 weeks when it comes to our daughter.
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